


Dick Down December

by Miraculous Mumma (Andromedanewton)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: F/M, KT and Piixiefawn, Kidge - Freeform, Lance has a big mouth, Matt and Keith have short fuses, Matt doesn't know, Matt's girlfriend is a robot, Pidge isn't as innocent as Matt thought, Secret Relationship, We are trouble when we get our heads together, Who Knows?, hot boys fighting, or is she?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-09-26 09:01:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17138882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Andromedanewton/pseuds/Miraculous%20Mumma
Summary: Matt Holt has been teasing his sister about her crush on Keith for days, which is when Pidge decides to get a little revenge...Working on the H/C that had Piixiefawn and I laughing on tumblr about if Matt simply built himself a girlfriend.





	Dick Down December

**Author's Note:**

> Hi all!
> 
> I know, I know, I've been soooooo quiet lately, and I apologise! Illness struck the house again, dragged on, the school got involved for my eldest having bad attendance despite having a medical condition, I dislocated my ankle, blah blah blah, anyway! For Christmas, here is a silly little something that I worked on with my tumblr daughter @Piixiefawn! Go check out her art, she's amazing! 
> 
> Also, many thanks to @tog84 for reading it through for me too!

Matthew Holt was an asshole.A genuine bonafide asshole.Pidge could call him that, he was her brother, she loved him, but damn him, he was a complete and utter asshole.He had been teasing her relentlessly for two days.It was almost Christmas, their first back on Earth, and so help her if he didn’t shut up about mistletoe and Keith she was really going to let him have it and damn the consequences her mom would rain down on her.Okay, so she and Keith were…what?A thing?She guessed that covered it.They were definitely more than quiznak-buddies, but they were also very private.As in no one knew they were a thing.They wanted people to know they were a thing but for now they wanted it to be just theirs, with none of the nosey questions and sly looks she knew would accompany any announcement of their dating status.And they had been on dates, they just weren’t touchy feely, other than in the bedroom, where they made up for it, big time.Regardless of that, Matt was in trouble.

Pidge wanted to pick her moment, for an opportunity when there would be the most amount of people to hear, for more people to share in her triumph over her teasing older brother.That opportunity presented itself in the mess hall at lunchtime.She found herself seated on one of the long tables with Keith on her left and Hunk on her right, Shiro on his other side.Matt was opposite Pidge, a smug grin on his face at her choice of seat, with Lance opposite Keith.They all ate in silence for several minutes, Pidge thinking about what to do to take her revenge on Matt, all the while he grinned and winked at her, flicking his glance to Keith every now and then as though threatening to reveal her crush.Griffin approached the table and nodded in greeting, sitting beside Matt and immediately tucking into his food.Well, no time like the present.

‘Hey, Matt?’Pidge asked nonchalantly as she poked at her food.‘Does Dick Down December count if you’re banging a robot?’

Matt’s eyes went wide as Griffin choked on his food, Pidge’s mouth splitting into a smile as she watched him swallow as the rest of the table looked between the two in confused amusement.Matt’s mouth flapped a couple of times but before he could answer Lance spoke up.

‘I don’t know, Pidge, does it also count if you’re being dicked by a half galra?’

Matt’s shock turned to horror as he turned to Keith, finding his cheeks beginning to colour a deep red while Pidge jumped onto the bench seat, planning to throw herself at Lance, and she would have succeeded, had Hunk not grabbed her and pulled her back down.

‘Nicely done, Lance.’Hunk stated, keeping his arm around Pidge as she fought to push it off.

‘Yeah, Lance.’Pidge growled.

‘What, like it was a secret?’Lance laughed then stopped as he took in the many glares aimed at him.‘Oh come on, you guys are so loud the entire garrison knows you go at it like bunnies every night!’

Matt lurched across the table, only to have his collar grabbed by his father who had been approaching to join them.‘Matt, leave it.’Sam said firmly as Keith got to his feet.

‘It’s not what you think!’Keith said defensively but standing his ground all the same.

‘Not what I think?’Matt yelled.‘I think you’re sleeping with my little sister!That’s not okay!’

‘Don’t start.’Pidge shot him a glare before directing it back on Lance.‘And don’t think I’ve forgotten about you!’She waved her finger at him threateningly.

Matt shrugged off his father’s grip.‘I won’t have him using you like that!You deserve better than…’

‘Better than what?’Keith leant on the table with his hands, angry at Matt’s insinuation.

‘You better watch your mouth, Matt.’Pidge said warningly.

‘I won’t watch anything.’Matt continued.

‘Son…’Sam cautioned.

‘No, Dad, how are you not mad about this?’Matt couldn’t tear his eyes off Keith as he spoke, the tension from the table palpable enough that the entire mess hall had silenced.‘About what he’s doing to Katie?’

‘I’m not doing anything to her she hasn’t consented to!’Keith growled, the sound lasting long after he finished speaking, and Pidge’s head shot around to look at him, knowing the signs he was now exhibiting and what they meant.‘You’re insinuating I’m taking advantage of her.I don’t like that.’

‘Keith…’Pidge finally shrugged Hunk off and got to her feet, leaning forward just enough to see Keith’s face, to recognise the tension and that his eyes had gone, for want of a better word, wild.He was exhibiting his galra side, something she had seen and wasn’t afraid of, but she didn’t want him to unleash it just now.

‘She’s young and impressionable, you _are_ taking advantage of her trust in you!’

Keith shifted as though to pounce, but Pidge put herself in front of him, pulling his gaze down to hers with her fingers in his hair.‘Keith, calm down, you don’t want to do this, not here, not like this.’

‘He needs to eat his words.’Keith snarled.

‘He will, but not by you force feeding them!’She said sharply, finally getting his attention.‘Let’s get out of here.’

‘He owes you, and me, an apology.’Keith spat, even as he allowed Pidge to take his hand and draw him away from the table.

‘And he’ll make one, but not until we all calm the fuck down.’

‘You know the best way for me to do that.’Keith stated.

‘Yeah, I do.’She smiled, mostly to herself, but Matt heard, and it did the complete opposite of calming him.

Vaulting over the table he tackled Keith sideways, pulling his hand from Pidge’s as they rolled to their feet.In seconds they were grappling and throwing punches, Shiro, Sam, and Hunk rushing to them immediately, Lance and Griffin a moment later, but Pidge was nearer, and Pidge wasn’t stupid…most of the time.Now wasn’t one of them.Before anyone else reached them she had thrown herself onto Matt’s back, clinging on with her arms and legs around him, yelling at them both to cut it out.

Shiro and Sam shared a look before nodding knowing they had to break thing up, and that while Matt was the one truly enraged, Keith was the greater threat, both stronger and better trained.Shiro quickly doled out orders; Lance was to help Sam; Hunk and Griffin were to help him with Keith; and they would hopefully break it up before anyone got hurt.

Shiro led with his right arm as Sam and Lance grabbed for Matt.Keith shook off Shiro’s grip easily, despite it being his artificial arm, swinging his fist towards Matt again the other man lurched enough to throw off both is father and Lance.Pidge grunted at being thrown around, Matt barely registering her weight on his back.She remembered a time, when they were younger, that she had been able to tackle him over, when they would surprise one another with tickle fights, or just trying to steal the TV remote from one another, and she realised his time with the rebels had made a world of difference to him.He was stronger, certainly not Keith strong, but muscles she hadn’t expected to find coiled under her and she realised he wasn’t going to be so easy to take down after all.She needed to change tactics.She planted her foot against his thigh and pushed herself up, hoping to drop between them, knowing neither one would hurt her on purpose.Which was a big mistake.

No one saw who landed the blow, but when Pidge suddenly dropped back and away from the fight it was obvious something had happened.She groaned as she tried to push herself up with her arms, Matt and Keith freezing instantly as they realised she was hurt.Each one dropped down beside her as she sat up, pressing her hand to her nose as she winced.

‘Babe, let me see.’Keith said, as Matt asked; ‘Pidge, you okay?’

‘You’re both assholes.’She groaned as she removed her hand, her eyes watering from the impact, and she glanced down as both men sucked in air through their teeth.Seeing the blood she wasn’t surprised.She wiped her hand on her pants and forced herself to her feet, shrugging off their hands as they tried to help her.‘Leave me alone, I’m fine.’

‘Are you done?’Shiro demanded, looking between them, both men looking sheepish as Pidge continued to wipe at her face.

‘I’m done.’Keith said.

‘Me too.Sorry, Shiro.’Matt rubbed the back of his neck as Sam took Pidge by the cheeks to check her nose.

‘I don’t think it’s broken.’He assured her as he tilted her head.‘All the same we’ll get you some ice.Do you have things under control here, Shiro?’

‘Leave it to me.’Shiro folded his arms and gave the two men a stern look as Sam began to lead Pidge away.

‘I want the two of you in my office in half an hour.’Sam glanced back at them.‘No excuses.’

‘Yes, sir.’Keith shifted almost to attention while Matt’s expression grew more worried.

‘Show’s over!’Shiro called to the room in general and although everyone returned to what they had been doing there was no doubt that they were still cautiously gawking at the scene.‘Now, the two of you are going to clear up the mess you made before you go to Commander Holt’s office, and I expect no trouble, do you hear me?’

‘Yes, sir.’Keith and Matt replied as one, Lance and Hunk looking between them before returning to their seats.

Half an hour later and the two of them approached the door to Commander Holt’s office, neither one having spoken about the incident either to each other or anyone else.They both knew it was unacceptable behaviour and the fact it had happened in front of the entire mess hall made matters worse.

Keith raised his hand and knocked, the door opening a moment later to reveal Pidge was already there, seated in the middle of three seats opposite the desk, behind which sat not only Sam but Colleen Holt.

‘Oh shit.’Matt murmured under his breath before going in and standing before one of the two chairs, Keith before the other.

‘Take a seat, both of you.’Sam indicated for them to do so, each of them turning to look at Pidge now they were level.

She looked between them, eyes like thunder.Her nose was red, her eyes were puffy and already darkening beneath in the starting of a bruise, and dried blood marked the edge of one nostril.

‘Are you okay?’They asked almost simultaneously and she directed her gaze back to her parents.

‘Don’t talk to me.’She grumbled.

‘Babe…’Keith tried but she ignored him.

‘Before we start,’ Colleen said, her tone reminiscent of Pidge’s own, tinged with anger and no nonsense, ‘is there anything the two of you would like to say in your defence?’

‘Not exactly in my defence,’ Keith began, ‘but I do have something I’d like to say.’

‘Go ahead.’Sam nodded.

‘I want to say I’m sorry, not just as a member of the garrison but as a friend and Pidge’s boyfriend.It shouldn’t have got that far. _I_ shouldn’t have allowed it to get that far.I fully accept the blame for what happened.’

‘That’s very big of you, Keith.’Colleen replied.‘And none of you should have let it get that far.’

‘And as far as we’re concerned Katie has already admitted blame for starting it.’Sam added.

‘But…’Matt tried, but Sam held up his hand.

‘It wasn’t her intention for it to become physical, but she admitted to wanting to tease you, Matthew.True, the fight was purely down to the two of you, but without her provocation it wouldn’t have happened.’

‘It wasn’t Pidge’s fault.Things got out of hand.Sir.’Keith added as an afterthought.‘It’s not fair that she should take the full blame.’

‘I didn’t say that she was taking the full blame, but I’m glad you stood up for her.Hers is the blame for starting things.The two of you are to blame for it getting quite so ridiculously out of hand.’

‘Do you have any idea what the fight was about?’Matt demanded, wondering if his parents had any clue of just what was going on.

‘It doesn’t matter what it was about,’ Colleen told him, ‘it was unprofessional and irresponsible.I expect better, from both of you.’

‘He’s sleeping with Pidge!’Matt announced, hoping it would get them to realise it wasn’t a small matter.‘He can’t just go around doing…her!’

Pidge started to facepalm then thought better of putting her hand anywhere near her sore face.‘Matt, don’t be an asshole.’

‘He can’t!’Matt glared down at her.

‘It’s consensual, dumbass, it’s perfectly fine.’

‘Is that what Mom and Dad think?’

‘She’s right, it is perfectly fine.’Colleen said as Keith tried to take Pidge’s hand, only to have her move it away.

Matt’s jaw fell open.‘You heard what I said, right?’

‘We heard.’Sam nodded.‘And it’s okay.Keith and Katie came to us several months ago and asked for our blessing.’

‘Months?’Matt yelped.‘It’s been going on for months?’

‘But we didn’t want a big fuss made so we asked to keep it between ourselves until we were ready.’Pidge gave him a sideways glance.‘I don’t think either of us realised Lance knew.’

‘His room is right beside mine.’Keith said offhandedly.

‘No.No, no, no, I’m not hearing this!’Matt shook his head.‘You can’t just do this, even if you asked them, you didn’t ask me!’

‘You’re my brother, not my…whatever else might need permission!’Pidge snapped, having had enough of the entire situation.‘I don’t know what the problem is, whether it’s because it’s Keith, or because you don’t seem to have realised that I’m actually an adult, or some other reason, but I’m tired of your teasing!You started it, I just finished it in a bigger way than I expected.’She slid down in her chair until most of her lower body was off it, arms folded, in what could only be described as out of sheer frustration.

Matt opened his mouth to speak again but Sam silenced him.‘That’s enough, Matt, Katie is right.She’s a woman now and we have to accept her decisions, and I know you like and respect Keith.If you want to discuss this then we will do so like adults.But not before we discuss your punishment.’

All three of them inwardly groaned and Pidge pushed herself back up in the chair to sit up and take whatever was coming.

‘We’ll take whatever you wish to dole out, Commander Holt, we need to set a good example.’Keith assured them.

‘Good.Katie, you will be helping with the grade one cadets, assisting the science teacher anyway they see fit.’

‘But Dad, I hate the science teachers!They never listen to what I…’

‘You’re there as an assistant.’Colleen stared her daughter down.‘You aren’t teaching and you aren’t to interrupt.You beat erasers if they need it doing!Your job will be to do as you’re told.Do you understand, young lady?’

‘Yes, Mom.’Pidge replied solemnly.

‘And as for the two of you.’Sam looked between the two men.‘The punishment for fighting is a month of detention, but given your heroic status we will be lenient.’

Keith let out a breath he hadn’t realised he was holding but Matt wasn’t so ready to think they had got off lightly.His parents were creative when it came to punishment.

‘You will spend a month working behind the scenes in the mess hall, doing some good old fashioned grunt work to remind you of how important it is that we all work together to make all of the garrison a well oiled machine.If you start to disrupt just one area, especially with rash actions, then the machine will break down.The two of you need to start to rebuild that which you broke by showing you can work together.’

‘Yes, sir.’Keith bowed his head and Pidge’s hand finally reached for his, offering him a small smile as he finally gave it a reassuring squeeze.

‘And it won’t end there.You will be working together to strip down some of the old engine parts for recycling, cleaning and testing each one.’

‘But Dad, that’s grunt work!’Matt complained, knowing it was one of the least desirable jobs in the entire garrison.

‘And until the two of you remember how to act like the officers you are then you are grunts, both of you.’Colleen snapped.‘Behave yourselves and set a better example.You’re war heroes, not opposing gang members!’

‘Yes, ma’am.’Keith said quickly.

‘Anything to add, Matthew?’

‘No, Mom.I mean, yeah.Sorry.’Matt shifted in his seat awkwardly.

‘Me too.’Pidge added.‘But if he hadn’t been teasing me in the first place then I wouldn’t have tried to get him back.’

‘Enough teasing, both of you.You’re not kids any more.’Sam groaned, sounding as though he had had his fair share of punishing them for that very thing over the years.

‘Alright.’Pidge nodded, hating to agree to it before Matt but wanting to be the bigger sibling, the one who extended the olive branch first.If he didn’t take it she could always beat him with it later.

‘Yeah, okay.’Matt said somewhat reluctantly.

‘Good.Now you just have to apologise to one another.’Colleen said as she got to her feet, closely followed by Sam.‘We’ll give you some privacy for that.’

The door closed behind them and Pidge huffed out a breath.‘Who wants to start?’

‘I’ll start.’Keith stood and offered his hand.‘We should have told you about us and I’m sorry you had to find out the way you did, but that doesn’t mean we’re going to stop seeing one another.I love Katie, that’s how it is.’

Matt got to his feet, narrowing his eyes at the other man.‘Wait, you love her?’

‘Yeah,’ Keith smiled down at Pidge, who looked smug yet embarrassed at the same time, ‘I do.’

‘You think after as long as we’ve known each other we’d really just be a fling?’Pidge asked.

‘I…don’t know.’Matt admitted, taking Keith’s still outstretched hand.‘But I hadn’t even considered that…you know what, never mind, just don’t give me too much information.Ever.’

‘I don’t think that will be a problem.’Pidge finally joined them in standing and it allowed them both to get a proper look at the bruising and swelling on her face.

‘I know we don’t know who did it, but I’m sorry you got hit.’Keith caressed her cheek with his palm and she fought not to wince.

‘Me too.’

‘Me three.’Matt added, resting a hand on her shoulder.‘I guess we deserved the punishment though, right?’

‘You guys maybe.’Pidge touched at her nose gingerly, even the small touch making her eyes begin to water.‘With your stupid testosterone.I think I suffered enough.’

‘You’re the one who accused me of sleeping with a sexbot!’

‘You’ve been teasing me about Keith for weeks!’

‘You kept your relationship with him secret or I wouldn’t have!’

‘Okay, enough!’Keith raised his voice over their bickering.‘This is the thing that got us into trouble in the first place!’

‘Right.’Matt muttered.‘Can we all at least agree no more secrets?Not big ones like this?’

Pidge sighed but Keith answered.‘Sure.’

‘You know, out of everyone you could have picked out of the entire garrison, Keith’s the one I would have picked for you?’

‘I didn’t know that.’Pidge frowned up at him.‘If that’s the case why were you always riding me about kissing him?You know I always do the opposite of what I’m told.’

‘I hoped just this once it might give you a push.’Matt shrugged, slinging his arm around her shoulders.‘And to celebrate the fact, once our punishment is done, I’m taking us all out for burgers.’

‘Triple deckers and sides thrown in.’

‘You got it.’

 

Pidge stormed through the corridor to the upper level of the hangar, Colleen and Sam close on her heels.It had been six weeks since the incident in the canteen and two weeks since their punishment ended, but it was still causing her problems.

‘Katie, what are we doing down here?’Sam called after her as she reached the door to the upper gantry where she stopped and held it open for them.

‘Just go out there and take a look.’She said insistently, her face a mixture of frustration and anger.

‘What are we looking for?’Colleen asked, shooting her daughter a glance as she passed.

‘You won’t need me to point it out, trust me.’She let go of the door and approached the railing, pointing at the very back corner where the large metal cages of old parts for testing remained and there, in the middle of it all, were Keith and Matt, wearing dirty coveralls and goggles, welding a part onto what seemed to be a chassis of some kind.

‘Their punishment was over two weeks ago.’Colleen murmured.‘Why are they still at it?’

‘Because they BONDED!’Pidge threw her arms in the air.‘They’ve turned it into a project and are trying to build a high speed, lightweight two person transporter with stealth capabilities for scouting!’

‘That sounds like a great use of the scrap parts.’Sam gave her a confused look.‘What’s the problem?’

‘The problem is that’s all they’re doing!’She whined.‘I haven’t seen either of them properly for weeks!They just do this!’

‘We wanted them to get along better.I’d say the punishment worked.’Colleen replied proudly.

‘Well, I want my boyfriend and brother back!’Pidge demanded, just as the sound of laughter erupted from the two men who had turned off the welding torch and were high fiving one another.‘Get a room!’She yelled before storming back out of the hanger.

‘What’s her problem?’Matt asked and Keith shrugged and shook his head.

‘No clue.’

‘Oh well.Want to take this baby for a spin?’

‘You bet!’

Colleen and Sam watched as they started the engine on the still crude contraption, a dull rumble echoing through the hangar.‘I think Pidge was right.’Colleen said as she leant towards her husband.‘We may have created a monster.’

**Author's Note:**

> I have an idea for a sequel, anyone interested?


End file.
